


my heart can't take a loss

by foggynelson



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: M/M, but asra calls him ilya so i'm going with that, i kept debating on calling him ilya or julian, i should be working on my novel but here we are, plus ilya is legit one of my fave names ever, so gonna give that love to my sweet stupid boy ilya, wow i miss fanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:35:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23571700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foggynelson/pseuds/foggynelson
Summary: There are times, when the night is too cold, when the wind is too loud, when Asra can’t sleep, that he finds himself thinking, wondering, pondering, what it would have been like to meet Ilya Devorka in different circumstances. What would it have been like to meet him not in the middle of dire plague? To meet him when they weren’t constantly surrounded by death? To meet him in a time of peace, of happiness.
Relationships: Asra/Julian Devorak
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	my heart can't take a loss

**Author's Note:**

> I have an idea of where this could go if it does go somewhere. It also can stand just as is so we'll see from here. I should be focused on my novel but instead, I just keep playing this game and listening to The Weeknd's new album and being an emotional wreck.

There are times, when the night is too cold, when the wind is too loud, when Asra can’t sleep, that he finds himself thinking, wondering, pondering, what it would have been like to meet Ilya Devorka in different circumstances. What would it have been like to meet him not in the middle of dire plague? To meet him when they weren’t constantly surrounded by death? To meet him in a time of peace, of happiness.

Asra can imagine what that would be like, he can almost see it, feel it. He wonders if Ilya ever thinks of it, too. Wonders if Ilya ever thinks of him. But why would he? Ilya has a distaste for magic. A distaste for magicians. A distaste for Asra. 

Or? Asra sighs, pulling his blanket over his face. Faust slivers up and looks at Asra in the eyes, saying nothing. Faust curls around him, wrapping him, holding him. 

Okay, Asra says to himself. What if we weren’t in the middle of a plague? What then? 

What if… 

It’s a warm evening and Asra is about to close up his shop when there’s a knock on the door. Asra hesitates, debating on ignoring it or not. But he feels a pull, something telling him to open the door. So he does. Asra sees the large black cape before he sees anything else. Next is the mess of red hair, bright, unruly. Then Asra sees the smile on his face, half smirk, half sincere. 

“Are you Asra?” the man asks, his eyes scanning Asra up and down. Asra nods. “Fantastic. I was hoping I could get a reading. Or is it too late?”

“I was just about to close up,” Asra begins, unsure of his next words. He doesn’t want to turn away the handsome stranger, but his magic is low, his energy drained. 

“I apologize. I am happy to come back in the morning,” the other man offers. 

“What kind of reading are you wanting?” Asra asks. He steps further into the shop and motions for the other to come in and join. The man walks inside and offers Asra a smile in return.

“I’m not sure. I’ve never had one before,” he says with a laugh. “I’m not really familiar with magic or anything. My sister is and keeps talking about it and, well, I… uh…” He pauses. “I lied, actually. I don’t want a reading. I mean, one would be fine, I just, as I said, my sister is really into magic and wants to learn some and I wanted to check you out and see if maybe you could teach her some.”

“You wanted to check me out?” Asra chuckles, a bright smile on his face. 

“I… I just meant…” The man is blushing, his cheeks almost as bright as his hair.

“I understand what you meant. I do already have an apprentice and I am not looking to have another full student, but I would be happy to teach your sister some basic things. There are some great books, too, that I could show you that would be beneficial for her to read.”

“That would be amazing. She would be so honored.”

“What about you?” Asra asks with a small smile.

“I would be honored too?” the other replies, question in his voice.

“I just meant, do you want to learn magic?” Asra chuckles, looking up at the man, smiling at the confused look that is on his face.

His face softens into a smile and he says, “I don’t care much for magic. I mean, for myself, I don’t care much for it. I’m a doctor.”

“And let me guess, you believe that science and magic are on different ends of a spectrum that could never cross?”

The man runs his hand through his hair, his eyes looking down. “I wouldn’t go that far. But I also wouldn’t say that I understand how the two could mix.”

“Well, I’ve got to tell you,” Asra says, trying to put as much smoothness in voice, strong, soft, powerful, “magic and science may be star crossed lovers, but they will always find a way to be together.”

He looks up, his eyes catching Asra’s, his face turning red once again. “Well aren’t you a romantic.”

“So I’ve been told.” Asra smiles and then reaches up, seemingly to touch the other’s face only to instead produce a flower in his hand, which he places behind the other’s ear. His hand lingers a second longer than is needing, brushing against the other’s hair, feeling warm and electricity from the touch.

The doctor is all smiles and pink cheeks when Asra pulls away.

“It must be hard then,” he says a moment later. “The star crossed lover bit.”

“Absolutely,” Asra is quick to agree. “But what love isn’t?”

“You got me there,” he replies with a laugh. “Does that mean you’ve been in love?”

Asra is taken back by the question, not only surprised at being asked it, but surprised as he’s not sure of the answer himself. He has loved, no doubt about it. But been in love? He’s not sure. Asra is normally so attuned to himself, to how he feels, to everything that’s going on inside of him, but not with this. Not with love.

“Maybe,” Asra replies, hoping the answer sounds mysterious instead of full of the confusion he feels. “Have you?”

“Not yet,” he says, voice smooth and sharp.

“I’m sure it’ll happen soon.”

“Is that a prophecy or a promise?” the doctor asks, smirking.

“Both.” Asra smiles and reaches over, his hand brushing the other’s face as he reaches and takes the flower from behind his ear. He twirls it in his fingers as he holds it in front of the other’s face. 

“I’m Ilya,” the doctor says, moving his head so he can be seen behind Asra’s flower.

“Asra,” he replies, smiling. He places the flower into his other hand and places it behind Ilya’s other ear. “Will I see you tomorrow?” 

“Yes.” The answer is out of his mouth before Asra has finished speaking. Heat spreads across his face.

“I look forward to it. And if you’d like, I’d be happy to do a reading for you anyway. Tell you your future.” There’s a twinkle in Asra’s eyes, inviting, bright.

“I’d rather find out my future myself. I like the surprises.” Ilya smirks.

“Surprises like tonight?” Asra feels an almost desperate plea in his voice.

“Surprises like tonight,” Ilya agrees, a sweet smile on his face. “If I may say so, this has been the best surprise I have had in a long time.” He pauses and leans in closer until Asra can feel his breath on his face. “And I can’t wait for more,” he finishes in a soft whisper. He pulls away, but Asra can still feel his breath, still feel him there.

He walks back towards the door and before he walks out, turns and says, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” And he’s gone before Asra can say anything, before he can even think. He reaches up to run his hand through his hair when he finds the flower he’d given Ilya is now tucked behind his own ear. Asra laughs, taken back that he hadn’t realized that had happened. 

“Just another surprise, I guess,” Asra whispers to himself. He twirls the flower in his hand, it’s bright purples and reds blurring together as he does. He smiles and places the flower on the shop’s counter before heading up to bed.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!! Come join me on tumblr [@davldrose](https://davldrose.tumblr.com/) and twitter [@transdavidrose](https://twitter.com/transdavidrose) and talk to me and send me prompts!!


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